A Shiny Penny

God is pretty amazing!

I had promised Him that, starting at the beginning of this new year I'd finally start getting up early every day to pray, read my Bible, and work out (which I've been telling Him and myself I'd start doing a long time ago, but have never been able to do) and I've been really down on myself for not being able to do it even once. I realized how shallow I am to value sleep and laziness over taking better care of myself and my relationship with God.

The last few days I was asking God for forgiveness, asking Him what the heck is wrong with me, and admitting that I need a little help. I thought, it's pretty pathetic that I need to have someone to help me do this. A "Good Christian" should WANT to prioritize their time with God over everything else!
I was, however, honest with myself and God about the embarrassing fact that I do, indeed, need a partner to cheer me on and keep me accountable. But I thought it would be difficult to find someone. And I felt really guilty that it's easy for me to keep promises to other people but not to myself and GOD.

Then, this morning, I went to church with my friends instead of going to my church and the pastor asked the question "From 1 to 10 how much do you delight in the Lord? How excited do you get in spending time with Him?" We read Psalm 27 and in verse 4, David says:
"One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple."
The pastor pointed out that, during David's time, the house of the Lord, the temple, wasn't anything like what our churches are today. Animals were brought in and out and sacrifices were made. So the temple must have smelled like animals, blood, animal feces, etc. And yet David wrote that all he wanted was to spend the rest of his days in that place! In addition, before Pentecost, people did not have the Holy Spirit, so their relationship with God was also very different from ours in that respect. Not to mention the fact that they didn't have the whole Bible and what little they had wasn't accessible to everyone. And yet even with all of these difficulties, all David yearned for was to become closer to the Lord and be in His presence in the temple.
I'll admit that this part of the sermon really just made me feel super guilty. 

But then came the part of the sermon that brought hope. The pastor shared a story from the book Love Does by Bob Goff (a book I've heard of quite a lot, but have yet to read). It was a story from Bob Goff's childhood. When he was little, his dad would give him his lose change, and, when he would have saved up enough money, he would go down to the store where he would pick the candy bar he wanted and would then spill out all his change on the counter where the old shop keeper (who apparently looked like the old fellow from the movie UP) would help him count all the change and then would let him have the candy bar. 
One day, little Bobby went into the store, excitedly took the candy bar he couldn't wait to eat, and then spilled his change out onto the counter. The old shop keeper counted out all the change, then made a little frown, and kindly told the boy "Well, it seems we have a problem." And the problem was that little Bobby was missing a penny. Notice that he said we not you have a problem. And he didn't just say "You don't have enough. No candy bar for you." Instead, the shop keeper told the child "I think I have a solution." He grabbed one of the pennies and polished it really well, to the point that it looked brand new. Then he set it down with the rest of the change and, smiling, told young Bob Goff, "On Fridays shiny pennies are worth two." (Now doesn't that just melt your heart?)

And so the pastor pointed out to us that sometimes we're the child in the story, while other times we're the shopkeeper and a person comes to us as the child...But we need to remember that we always come short on pennies with God, and He constantly reminds us that shiny pennies are worth two. So we need to have the same attitude towards others.

Well, I thought the story was really cute, and I quietly told God "Okay, I'm going to try again," but then I didn't give it much thought for the rest of the day. Then, just a couple of hours ago I was sitting in my living room trying to work on homework, but got talking to one of my housemates. Somehow, (I can't quite remember how), we both discovered that we have both had the goal of getting up early to pray and read our Bibles but have both been failing at it. So, I excitedly asked her if she wants to start getting up together to make sure we both have our quiet time with God. We both agreed that we're an answer to prayer for each other.
And suddenly the shiny penny story came to mind and I smiled.
It's okay that I can't do this on my own. Because, today, God polished my penny for me, by giving me a helper, and it's now worth more than I thought.


P.S. I just read the previous blog post (which I had written almost a year ago) about the goals I had for last year and I actually was and have been able to accomplish them all! Granted, some of them I was able to do better and more often than others, especially during last summer when I had no classes, and I did stop doing some of them once I went back to school in the Fall... but I WAS able to do it! Baby steps are still progress! 
I really am too hard on myself. I AM NOT A FAILURE. And God always has a special rag tucked in His pocket to shine my pennies with.